This is my wonderful NANA!
A little over 2 years ago(november 2006), we(my family) found out that she had cancer. She went to the hospital while I was at work. I got that bad news phone call from my mom and left work immediately after talking with my ex-girlfriend. I played "roses" by Kanye West in my iPOD OVER and OVER again. Our family had came closer together, and we ended up having Thanksgiving in the hospital with her in an waiting room! Around late January and early Febuary of 2008 the doctor told my aunties that she had 6 months to a year to live. It has been a year now and she is still alive!!! Unfortunately she now is showing symptoms of the end stage of the cancer. Its VERY hard to see my NANA like this.
I am her ONLY Grandson, so me and her have a very special bond. We did alot together, and I cherish those moments and those missions we had together. Like taking her out to breakfast to TRY to repay her for cooking me breakfast ALL those years used to and still love spending a night over her house! Its like now, she barely remembers who I am, and I want to talk to her so bad because I know whats coming, but i can't find the words to say! Everytime I say "I love you" I know It could very well be the last time I say it to her in person. She told me she wants to be creamated then released into the ocean. She said
"alfred, I need you to be strong for NANA, I lived a GREAT life, so I'm ready to go now. Continue to be the great man you are now and I love you."
YES, I cried, I tried SOOO hard to hold it back, I was simply trying to avoid that conversation with her, but it was REAL, because my NANA and I know NOOOO other way! But to be real. LOLOL when I started crying she made me sit on her lap! lol nigga I'm like 160IBs...so she calmed me down, and I haven't cried since, she will never see me cry again.
The whole family was at her house yesterday bonding and helping one another get through this tough time we are all high key gowing through. People wonder why I haven't left for Texas yet and THIS situation is exactly why. Its Way more important to ME!
This situation is going to cause me to be away for a while, my phone is off also. I'm not avoiding you guys i'm just handling biz.
If any kno how u feel i do.....it takes a strong mind to get threw....my heart goes out to u and ur fam i hope u all "get well soon"
ReplyDeleteYou can't help but to cry in a situation like that. Sometimes, it's the best way to get it all out. Rest assured that whenever she may part this Earth, her body may be gone, but her soul and spirit will live on through you and the rest of your family. Lackland AFB ain't goin' nowhere. You got plenty of time to go through BMT. You're where you need to be right now, and that's the most important thing. Handle your biz bro.
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