My name is Alfred Leroy Carr, and I have a little nephew. Now, my nephew was born October 16, 2002. When he came into my life I was excited and I was very close to him. Since then I have left him( not seen him for MONTHS at a time) 3 times combining for 3 years. When he was growing up I "tried" to act like a uncle around him, and discipline him. His mom (my sister) on the other hand did want me to discipline him for anything he did, and would confront me in FRONT of him. That to me was DUMB AS FUCK, because now days he does NOt fully listen to me when I tell him to do something because my sister basically showed him its alright to Not listen to me at a young age.
He turned out to be a cry baby, who ironically likes to fight people(including me), and we all know little kid or adult I don't play that fighting shit, cause niggas WILL get laid down. Now days his dad is NOT around, and is no where to be found, therefore causing him to spend ALOOOOOOT of time with his mom, and allows him to develop a deep sensitive side, TOO SENSITIVE. He gets in trouble alot in school now, he does not pay attention in school or out of school, even if it will benefit him to the extreme,and he screams for his dad.
My sister and I just recently talked about how much trouble he was getting into and she asked me if I could talk to him, because he needs a male role model. I agreed to talk to him, but short after, my mind went blank on ideas about what to talk about with him at 6 years old.
I sadly am going to have to leave him again when I go to Texas, then who will be there. I would step up and attempt to try to be that man but I am TOO inconsistent in his life for that. My sister had actually threw a jab at me that same day about me leaving him all the time, even though I love him HE IS NOT MY CHILD! So WTF don't try to make me feel bad.
ANY WAY, I NEED YOUR THOUGHTS, OPINIONS, AND JUDGEMENT.
I believe that you can be the male fixture in his life, but I can understand that being inconsistent in his life messes that repertoire up.
ReplyDeleteYour sister is in the wrong for throwing that at you though. He isn't your child, and he essentially isn't your responsibility. You don't have to be in his life...you choose to be in his life. You cannot be superman and be his everything for a male role model, but you can let him know that while Uncle Freddo may not always be around to see him all the time, that he's always in your thoughts, and you'll always be there to talk to him and give him any sort of help that he needs.
It's a very rough position to be in, and even rougher since you're a young man still coming into your own. Search deep within yourself and in your heart, and you will figure out the answer.
The best thing you can do for any child is not to talk to him but BE A GOOD EXAMPLE. Be kind to all who cross your path, but not indulgent; act like a gentleman, but know when to speak out against what is wrong; choose your ideals and be prepared to defend them; always present to the world what you wish to be, not what you are now. And don't forget to smile when you are happy, and nod when you agree with someone. Be a beacon and it will be your light that will draw your nephew to you. Remember the three Ms of a successful life: manners, methods, and meaning. Remember to praise God for giving you a life to live.
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